Lingering with more frequency these days is some substantial doubt about my writing and my hopes to ever write for a career. I try to fend off the doubting voice in my head that says:
Who are you kidding? You are never going to make it as a writer. You should quit writing anything and focus on a different career path. There are so many writers out there. Why does your opinion count? I am not making a career of it because I have a blog. Everyone has a blog. Blogs are as common as Facebook pages. Most bloggers aren’t taken seriously. You shouldn’t start writing a book right now because you don’t know how to do it. Plus, what are you going to write about? Even if you write something people won’t pay for it to be published. Do you know anything well enough to actually write about it?
I have always seriously doubted myself and I don’t know why. So, these are the thoughts going through my mind almost every time I think of writing, look for writing jobs, or read about another young writer out there enjoying having his or her work published.
I think a lot of this doubt is circumstantial. Spring and summer are sweeping in on Milwaukee. Before I know it, Kate and I will have lived here for a year and a big part of me still hates this place. I have no roots here. I know no one. I still pray for change, but I chuckle when I do because it has been so long and spring is not bringing much hope…it is dying with the melting snow.
1 comment:
I feel you on the self doubt thing. Its hard being creative because the artist/writer is so personally attached to the art/words even if they don't want to be or deny the attachment. I know you will, but I will say it anyway. Hang in there and keep glorifying God with the gift He gave you.
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