Why Do I Watch?

I’m watching the Oscars tonight. I always watch the Oscars. I missed them in 2006 because I was not in the country, but I remember a group of students from Southern California boasting the next day about Crash’s big win. In years past I haven’t always known why I was watching the Oscars. So, I am making a list.

Reasons I Watch the Oscars (In no particular order.)

1. I love movies.

2. The show gives me ideas for movies to rent and movies to see in the theater.

3. I think the host is usually funny. I enjoy the anticipation surrounding the host’s first monologue. Is it going to be spectacular, hopefully including some jokes about the hubris of movie stars? Is he or she going to flub it? I watch tonight to see how extraordinarily awkward the awards show will be with Hugh Jackman hosting. When I first heard he would host I thought it was a cruel joke. What!? No Jon Stewart. No Billy Crystal. No Whoopi. Please, anyone but an actor.

4. Modesty usually goes right out the window at the Oscars, creating some awkward situations. Possible weird moment tonight: When Kate Winslet wins for The Reader. There will be one surprised person in the room…her.

5. It’s a competition. Over the year I become a fan of a particular movie. If one of those movies is awarded with nominations, I am going to watch to see if it wins any. It’s like watching the Super Bowl of movies.

6. To be somewhat familiar with pop culture.

7. To see what the celebrities are wearing and to listen to flamboyant commentators tear apart a woman’s gown or praise a man’s tuxedo choice.

That’s it, I guess. I don’t suspect to be surprised by any winner tonight. Here are a few predictions.

Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire

Best Director: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire

Best Actor: Sean Penn, Milk

Best Actress: Kate Winslet, The Reader

Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight

Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Best Documentary: Man On Wire

Best Foreign Language Film: Waltz with Bashir

Best Animated Film: Wall-E

Almost time to watch a few squirmy red carpet interviews before the show starts.

Short Horseracing List

1. Ladies, get over yourselves with those ridiculous hats.
2. You know why Big Brown lost? Because everyone was already calling the race for him. Sometime the horseracing community won’t say the Belmont is a gimme for the horse that wins the first two legs of the Triple Crown and that is when you will have your next Triple Crown winner.
3. That’s what you get for gambling your money.
4. Big Brown’s trainer guaranteed a victory. Plus, he seemed like a cocky jerk.
5. Here is to next year’s Triple Crown, where the exact same thing will most likely happen.
   

Happy New Year!

Making lists at the end of the year is a fun thing to do. My list is in no way related to 2007, but it is the end of the year, so, why not? I saw one of the cars on this list the other day and it really made me think about ugly cars.

I present to you Six Hours On Sunday's list of the ten ugliest cars ever made.

10. 1998 Chevy Malibu


9. Dodge Neon, ca. 1998.


8. Chevy Cavalier, ca. 1990s-present.

7. Ford Taurus, from its conception to its death.



6. Scion xB, I think these turds appeared on the road after 2000.


5. Pontiac Aztek, ca. I don't remember. I just know they don't make them anymore. Thank God.


4. The 80s Ford Mustang.


3. Ford Thunderbird, the remodel. All those years designing, and this is what you come up with?


2. Ford Crown Victoria, ca. 1998.

Drum roll please...


and the winner is...

by a landslide, I should note,

#1 The Caprice Classic Station Wagon, ca. 1990s. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

100 things - 76-100

76. I want Kate to own her dream car someday. I don’t care what it is. I hope she gets it.

77. I think I weigh 230 pounds. I haven’t checked in a while.

78. I weigh 16.4 stone. A stone is equal to 14 pounds.

79. I don’t drink coffee. I find it rather putrid.

80. I have always wanted to take a crack at a triathlon.

81. I don’t think I can because I don’t have a road bike.

82. I think I might be okay at them.

83. I consider myself a decent swimmer. I don’t think I am half-bad at running.

84. I have on my computer the top 20 quotes from the 2002-2003 Arizona training trip. The quotes are priceless. Most of them are extremely crude. It’s locker room humor, college locker room humor. You get the picture. A lot of my favorites came out of the mouth of Guy Ferber. I quote him here. Just for clarification, this isn’t a conversation. The quotes are independent of one another.

“I can spread my legs all the way and Adam still fits.”

“Come on, Josh. Tell me how healthy it is…it turns me on.”

“My relay change-overs are as fast as a light.”

“I am so glad we have a washdisher.”

Guy to Adam: “Did I touch you again last night?”

85. The first screen name I gave myself was Toby1601. Someone said I looked like a Toby. I was 16. I was to graduate in 2001.

86. I met Kate for the first time twice. We started dating in May of 2003 shortly after long IM chats. When me met face to face the second time it went something like this, “Hey, are you KatieFsh?”

“Yeah. Are you CowboyBryce?” She said.

“Yes, I am, darling. Nice to meet you.” I said.

87. The first time we met was at a swim meet in November of 2002. I was enamored with another girl then, a total waste of my time, and hers, but she was friends with Kate. She introduced us. I was oblivious of Kate then. When I try to recall those introductions I remember meeting a pretty blond with a good smile. She did leave an impression.

88. I would love to witness that encounter again. It would be awesome to see me lumbering into the room, trying to look cool and fast (even though I had been out of the water for twenty minutes). What a thrill it would be to tell this guy that he just shook hands with his future wife, to tell him what was to become of them in the next five years. How cool is that? I can think about that all day long and smile.

89. Kate and I were driving back from Chicago in August of 2004 when we stopped by Grand Island, Nebraska, and took this picture of my roommate on a billboard. Pretty sweet.

90. When I move back to London, with Kate this time, I’m going to stand here for another sunset.

91. When I move back to Colorado, with Kate this time, I’m going to stand here for another sunset.

92. I don’t think Starbucks is a corporation to hate or fear just because it is a corporation. I hate it when I know people are hating on Starbucks just for that reason.

93. This was the first house I lived in. Canoga Park, CA.

94. The last time I probably had a little too much to drink was the night of my bachelor party. You just have to watch out. You never know what the Man Tube of Power will do to you.

95. I probably will take a job at Borders on Friday.

96. The next time I see my sister she will be a mom.

97. I used to look forward to Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues.

98. I think the Iraq War has made the world a more dangerous place for Americans and westerners.

99. We are going out to eat with Kate’s co-workers tonight. They are coming over for dessert afterwards.

100. Kate and I baked a cake last night.

100 things - 51-75

One-hundred things. That’s a lot of things. It is much harder than expected to come up with 100 things about myself. But I push on now, with only fifty things left.

51. I am convinced the next computer I get will be an Apple laptop. This purchase won’t take place for a while, but I am very excited about it.

52. I mentioned a regret in the last 25 things I posted. I want to make clear that I don’t regret that many things. Regretting is a big trap. I try, rather, to note my mistakes, tweak my approach/way of thinking, and forget about it. It is easier said than done, but nonetheless, that’s my plan.

53. I used to be obsessed with the WCW and the WWF. In a way I still am. I mean, I don’t watch it anymore. I couldn’t name most of the wrestlers on the TV shows, but a part of it will remain boyishly magical and curious to me.

54. For the most part, I do the grocery shopping around here.

55. I was offered a job at Borders yesterday.

56. I think “The Final Countdown” by Europe is a seriously good song to rock out to. I jammed to it today while putting away groceries.

57. On the first anniversary of the September 11 attacks I wrote this in a journal, “It has been one year since the attacks and I feel like America hasn’t forgotten. I also feel that there is much more violence on the horizon that is inevitable.” Hmm. I was right about the violence, but I would have to disagree with the inevitable part. That’s why Iraq sucks so much. It was avoidable.

58. I am tempted to write a blog about how much the VMAs sucked and how out of touch MTV really is with good music. I won’t do that. I will just let you know that the show sucked. Chris Brown can dance…that was a highlight, everything else was forgettable

59. According to my mom, in a recent email she sent me, my wedding thank-you letters have become legendary. They are, apparently, quite the hit with those that have been lucky enough to get them by now. I remember writing to one family and saying thanks for the toaster they gave us and how it “pairs nicely with slices of bread”.

60. I like the idea of a timeline in Iraq. There are deadlines for success that need to be set at this point.

61. I am currently reading Diana – Her True Story, a book by Andrew Morton.

62. My dream automobile used to be a Dodge Ram V-10 truck, a.k.a. the Testosterone Truck.

63. The Dodge truck hasn’t been my dream automobile for a long time now.

64. My dream vehicle is that big, great looking, all electric-powered SUV with plenty of room for people, junk, my legs, and my head. This car hasn’t been designed yet.

65. I haven’t had Chipotle since I have been in Wisconsin.

66. I used to be called “Butterfingers” in elementary because it was believed I couldn’t catch.

67. For the record, of the people that called me that name, none went on to D-I athletics.

68. Butterfingers did.

69. I am 6’9”. Many of you know this, but my height isn’t the thing I am sharing here, it’s just background information. Something people have always liked to tell me after I tell them I swam in college is this, “Yeah, you just fall into the water and you’re already across the pool.” No matter who they are I immediately call them a dumbshit in my head.

70. I don’t feel bad about doing that. Actually, when you see me smirk and nod right after they say this, is when I am doing that which I mentioned in #69 of 100 things.

71. “The Untimely Death of Brad” by Five Iron Frenzy is a great song. “It’s on the internet, so then, it must be true. The untimely death of Brad, how sad it must have been. If you see him anywhere, remember to console him.”

72. The first time I heard an acquaintance talking about sex like he had actually had it was in the 11^th grade. We were in the locker room after a basketball game.

73. I have one dollar in my wallet.

74. The restaurant I miss the most: The Rio Grande.

75. I have a hand held electronic dictionary by my computer at all times. I love it.

26 through 50

26. I don’t like Catcher in the Rye. In fact, I dislike it very much.

27. I have little or no faith in the 2008 presidential candidates.

28. I choked on a hotdog at a friend’s house sometime when I lived in New Jersey.

29. I feel pretty confident I could beat the crap out of at least 90% of all the people I see on a daily basis. Of course, only one at a time and only if there was a legitimate reason.

30. When my parents told me we were moving to Longmont I threw a fit.

31. I just don’t get it. Most overrated movie ever: Citizen Kane.

32. I went on a recruiting trip to West Virginia.

33. I also went on a recruiting trip to Cal. State – Bakersfield.

34. George Washington University offered me 40%. That was awfully kind of them, but going there still would have been at least $20,000 a year.

35. When Wyoming finally called me they thought I had just finished my junior year in high school. I had just graduated high school.

36. I tried out for basketball at Fort Collins High School.

37. I didn’t make it.

38. I played my junior year at Longmont on the JV team.

39. When living in Fort Collins I loved throwing crab apples at passing cars and school buses with Trey.

40. I voted for Bush in 2004.

41. I regret it, but the alternative choice wasn’t going to solve the problem either.

42. I voted all Democrat in the 2006 Midterm. Not because I loved them all, but thought it was high time to give someone else a crack at it. They haven’t done a good job.

43. I don’t believe in a global war on terror.

44. On occasion, I enjoy vacuuming.

45. Another one I just don’t get. Guinness is wrong, the beer that is.

46. The first time I ever saw a picture of a naked lady was in the 5^th or 6^th grade. One boy, I can’t remember who exactly, got a hold of some magazine and brought it to school. We gathered around on the ground during recess to look at the woman in the picture like she was some alien. It was all very exciting and hush-hush at the time.

47. I can tell the make and model of most cars from over a hundred yards away.

48. I don’t know my Presidents. I seem to have forgotten most of them with old age.

49. In elementary I was lights out fast compared to everyone else because my legs were so damn long. They still are. But anyway, a chunk of the boys caught me and passed me when we came out of our prepubescent years.

50. I have never had an MP3 player.

100 Things - The First 25

I have always liked lists, numbered lists specifically. In my brief past I have also enjoyed filling out surveys with questions like “What is your favorite book?” “Do you believe in God?” “Do you smoke after sex?” I find enjoyment in reading surveys filled out by acquaintances and friends, although, admittedly, not as much as I enjoy filling them out.

1. People tell me I look like Nicholas Cage or Clive Owen. I don’t see it. I think I look like Bryce Perica.
2. The first place I drove after getting my license was Taco Bell. Trey and I hopped in the Man Van and put some tunes on. We were in heaven.
3. Excluding living in a dorm room, I have inhabited eight houses or apartments. Six with my family. One in college. One with Kate. One in L.A. and New Jersey. Three in Fort Collins. One in Longmont and Laramie. One in Wisconsin.
4. I love New Belgium products. They cannot be found in Wisconsin.
5. I didn’t kiss that many girls growing up.
6. I can’t remember the name of my first kiss. I know it was sometime in Junior High.
   
7. California used to be my top choice for places I wanted to live.
8. I have puked only once from working out.
9. I am good at saying “No.”
10. Star Wars movies will always be my favorites.
11. I prefer the original trilogy to the prequels, but I still enjoy the prequels.
12. My favorite childhood toy was my trampoline.
13. It wasn’t until my junior year in high school that I went to school with someone as tall as me.
14. I constantly check myself for arrogance. I guess this means I have never wanted to carry with me an air of superiority for any reason, including my parents’ background, the size of my house, the cars we drive, the clothes I wear, the gadgets I have, the college I went to, the initials after my name, or the God I worship.
15. Although I constantly check myself for arrogance, that doesn’t mean I never am that way. I know I have been arrogant before, but I try to keep those moments at bay.
16. I know when I am not being cocky. When those moments coincide with other people being cocky my blood boils.
17. With respect to guns and the murder rate, I want the US to be more like Canada.
18. Even better, in that same respect, I want the US to be more like the UK.
19. I first thought I was going to be a computer science major in college.
20. I think we’ll move right back to Colorado next summer.
21. It is also too early to say.
22. My family won Family Feud. I wasn’t born yet.
23. As often as I could when growing up I sneaked glances at the pages of Victoria’s Secret catalogs.
24. I once swam 75 yards without breathing.
25. I pulled an unconscious swimmer off the bottom of a pool after he tried going for 100 yards.