100 things - 76-100

76. I want Kate to own her dream car someday. I don’t care what it is. I hope she gets it.

77. I think I weigh 230 pounds. I haven’t checked in a while.

78. I weigh 16.4 stone. A stone is equal to 14 pounds.

79. I don’t drink coffee. I find it rather putrid.

80. I have always wanted to take a crack at a triathlon.

81. I don’t think I can because I don’t have a road bike.

82. I think I might be okay at them.

83. I consider myself a decent swimmer. I don’t think I am half-bad at running.

84. I have on my computer the top 20 quotes from the 2002-2003 Arizona training trip. The quotes are priceless. Most of them are extremely crude. It’s locker room humor, college locker room humor. You get the picture. A lot of my favorites came out of the mouth of Guy Ferber. I quote him here. Just for clarification, this isn’t a conversation. The quotes are independent of one another.

“I can spread my legs all the way and Adam still fits.”

“Come on, Josh. Tell me how healthy it is…it turns me on.”

“My relay change-overs are as fast as a light.”

“I am so glad we have a washdisher.”

Guy to Adam: “Did I touch you again last night?”

85. The first screen name I gave myself was Toby1601. Someone said I looked like a Toby. I was 16. I was to graduate in 2001.

86. I met Kate for the first time twice. We started dating in May of 2003 shortly after long IM chats. When me met face to face the second time it went something like this, “Hey, are you KatieFsh?”

“Yeah. Are you CowboyBryce?” She said.

“Yes, I am, darling. Nice to meet you.” I said.

87. The first time we met was at a swim meet in November of 2002. I was enamored with another girl then, a total waste of my time, and hers, but she was friends with Kate. She introduced us. I was oblivious of Kate then. When I try to recall those introductions I remember meeting a pretty blond with a good smile. She did leave an impression.

88. I would love to witness that encounter again. It would be awesome to see me lumbering into the room, trying to look cool and fast (even though I had been out of the water for twenty minutes). What a thrill it would be to tell this guy that he just shook hands with his future wife, to tell him what was to become of them in the next five years. How cool is that? I can think about that all day long and smile.

89. Kate and I were driving back from Chicago in August of 2004 when we stopped by Grand Island, Nebraska, and took this picture of my roommate on a billboard. Pretty sweet.

90. When I move back to London, with Kate this time, I’m going to stand here for another sunset.

91. When I move back to Colorado, with Kate this time, I’m going to stand here for another sunset.

92. I don’t think Starbucks is a corporation to hate or fear just because it is a corporation. I hate it when I know people are hating on Starbucks just for that reason.

93. This was the first house I lived in. Canoga Park, CA.

94. The last time I probably had a little too much to drink was the night of my bachelor party. You just have to watch out. You never know what the Man Tube of Power will do to you.

95. I probably will take a job at Borders on Friday.

96. The next time I see my sister she will be a mom.

97. I used to look forward to Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues.

98. I think the Iraq War has made the world a more dangerous place for Americans and westerners.

99. We are going out to eat with Kate’s co-workers tonight. They are coming over for dessert afterwards.

100. Kate and I baked a cake last night.

It's 7:30am...

Time to wake up, Bryce.

The country you live in is now being invaded by highly skilled and intelligent illegal immigrants from India. You must proceed with caution.

A war with Iran isn’t too far fetched. Say hello to World War III.

Two tropical depressions in the Atlantic have formed. The coasts just aren't safe anymore. It is good you live inland.

And, wow. It's a good thing you don't have kids, Bryce. I mean, what would you buy them, toys? There are no safe toys in America. You must freak out.

Every earthquake now has the potential to create a tsunami that will wipe out hundreds of thousands of people, including you, if you decide to take a vacation to Southeast Asia.

Have a nice day now, you hear?

Burn, Baby, Burn

Thanks to Jarrod for sending me this link. He thinks I have readers, that's why he told me to put it up here.

This is very impressive. Obviously, they have a long way to go before salt water can power a Suburban, but you have to start somewhere.

My fear is that the government and very powerful people will try to smother this new fuel as long as there is $100 trillion worth of oil buried in the Middle East.

At least we will have something to turn to when the world runs out of oil reserves in 50 years.

100 things - 51-75

One-hundred things. That’s a lot of things. It is much harder than expected to come up with 100 things about myself. But I push on now, with only fifty things left.

51. I am convinced the next computer I get will be an Apple laptop. This purchase won’t take place for a while, but I am very excited about it.

52. I mentioned a regret in the last 25 things I posted. I want to make clear that I don’t regret that many things. Regretting is a big trap. I try, rather, to note my mistakes, tweak my approach/way of thinking, and forget about it. It is easier said than done, but nonetheless, that’s my plan.

53. I used to be obsessed with the WCW and the WWF. In a way I still am. I mean, I don’t watch it anymore. I couldn’t name most of the wrestlers on the TV shows, but a part of it will remain boyishly magical and curious to me.

54. For the most part, I do the grocery shopping around here.

55. I was offered a job at Borders yesterday.

56. I think “The Final Countdown” by Europe is a seriously good song to rock out to. I jammed to it today while putting away groceries.

57. On the first anniversary of the September 11 attacks I wrote this in a journal, “It has been one year since the attacks and I feel like America hasn’t forgotten. I also feel that there is much more violence on the horizon that is inevitable.” Hmm. I was right about the violence, but I would have to disagree with the inevitable part. That’s why Iraq sucks so much. It was avoidable.

58. I am tempted to write a blog about how much the VMAs sucked and how out of touch MTV really is with good music. I won’t do that. I will just let you know that the show sucked. Chris Brown can dance…that was a highlight, everything else was forgettable

59. According to my mom, in a recent email she sent me, my wedding thank-you letters have become legendary. They are, apparently, quite the hit with those that have been lucky enough to get them by now. I remember writing to one family and saying thanks for the toaster they gave us and how it “pairs nicely with slices of bread”.

60. I like the idea of a timeline in Iraq. There are deadlines for success that need to be set at this point.

61. I am currently reading Diana – Her True Story, a book by Andrew Morton.

62. My dream automobile used to be a Dodge Ram V-10 truck, a.k.a. the Testosterone Truck.

63. The Dodge truck hasn’t been my dream automobile for a long time now.

64. My dream vehicle is that big, great looking, all electric-powered SUV with plenty of room for people, junk, my legs, and my head. This car hasn’t been designed yet.

65. I haven’t had Chipotle since I have been in Wisconsin.

66. I used to be called “Butterfingers” in elementary because it was believed I couldn’t catch.

67. For the record, of the people that called me that name, none went on to D-I athletics.

68. Butterfingers did.

69. I am 6’9”. Many of you know this, but my height isn’t the thing I am sharing here, it’s just background information. Something people have always liked to tell me after I tell them I swam in college is this, “Yeah, you just fall into the water and you’re already across the pool.” No matter who they are I immediately call them a dumbshit in my head.

70. I don’t feel bad about doing that. Actually, when you see me smirk and nod right after they say this, is when I am doing that which I mentioned in #69 of 100 things.

71. “The Untimely Death of Brad” by Five Iron Frenzy is a great song. “It’s on the internet, so then, it must be true. The untimely death of Brad, how sad it must have been. If you see him anywhere, remember to console him.”

72. The first time I heard an acquaintance talking about sex like he had actually had it was in the 11^th grade. We were in the locker room after a basketball game.

73. I have one dollar in my wallet.

74. The restaurant I miss the most: The Rio Grande.

75. I have a hand held electronic dictionary by my computer at all times. I love it.

Pick N Slave

I have been meaning to complain about this for a while. Here goes…

I think it a uniquely luxurious experience to have someone bag your groceries. I didn’t realize how much I took this for granted until I lived in the UK. Everyone bags their own groceries there. It wasn’t a hard job, but it sure is nice standing there watching someone else do the work. I am doing the tough part here. I did all the walking around the store. I made all those u-turns to go back to the produce section because I had forgotten something on the list. I snaked my way through every aisle, scanning top to bottom looking for parchment paper. I stretched. I crouched. I got on my tip-toes to see what was in the next aisle. I waited patiently for the elderly man to pick out what kind of Depends he wanted so I could get to the paper towels. And, I am spending the money here.

The least Pick N Save can do for me is to bag my groceries. They don’t. It’s simply un-American.

Good Morning, Wisconsin

Kate's pretty excited for the sunrise.

The sun, it's almost here.

This was beautiful. I am so glad we got up to do this. We'll do it again.

I was taking a picture of Kate. The sun got in the way.

It was a good morning.

26 through 50

26. I don’t like Catcher in the Rye. In fact, I dislike it very much.

27. I have little or no faith in the 2008 presidential candidates.

28. I choked on a hotdog at a friend’s house sometime when I lived in New Jersey.

29. I feel pretty confident I could beat the crap out of at least 90% of all the people I see on a daily basis. Of course, only one at a time and only if there was a legitimate reason.

30. When my parents told me we were moving to Longmont I threw a fit.

31. I just don’t get it. Most overrated movie ever: Citizen Kane.

32. I went on a recruiting trip to West Virginia.

33. I also went on a recruiting trip to Cal. State – Bakersfield.

34. George Washington University offered me 40%. That was awfully kind of them, but going there still would have been at least $20,000 a year.

35. When Wyoming finally called me they thought I had just finished my junior year in high school. I had just graduated high school.

36. I tried out for basketball at Fort Collins High School.

37. I didn’t make it.

38. I played my junior year at Longmont on the JV team.

39. When living in Fort Collins I loved throwing crab apples at passing cars and school buses with Trey.

40. I voted for Bush in 2004.

41. I regret it, but the alternative choice wasn’t going to solve the problem either.

42. I voted all Democrat in the 2006 Midterm. Not because I loved them all, but thought it was high time to give someone else a crack at it. They haven’t done a good job.

43. I don’t believe in a global war on terror.

44. On occasion, I enjoy vacuuming.

45. Another one I just don’t get. Guinness is wrong, the beer that is.

46. The first time I ever saw a picture of a naked lady was in the 5^th or 6^th grade. One boy, I can’t remember who exactly, got a hold of some magazine and brought it to school. We gathered around on the ground during recess to look at the woman in the picture like she was some alien. It was all very exciting and hush-hush at the time.

47. I can tell the make and model of most cars from over a hundred yards away.

48. I don’t know my Presidents. I seem to have forgotten most of them with old age.

49. In elementary I was lights out fast compared to everyone else because my legs were so damn long. They still are. But anyway, a chunk of the boys caught me and passed me when we came out of our prepubescent years.

50. I have never had an MP3 player.

100 Things - The First 25

I have always liked lists, numbered lists specifically. In my brief past I have also enjoyed filling out surveys with questions like “What is your favorite book?” “Do you believe in God?” “Do you smoke after sex?” I find enjoyment in reading surveys filled out by acquaintances and friends, although, admittedly, not as much as I enjoy filling them out.

1. People tell me I look like Nicholas Cage or Clive Owen. I don’t see it. I think I look like Bryce Perica.
2. The first place I drove after getting my license was Taco Bell. Trey and I hopped in the Man Van and put some tunes on. We were in heaven.
3. Excluding living in a dorm room, I have inhabited eight houses or apartments. Six with my family. One in college. One with Kate. One in L.A. and New Jersey. Three in Fort Collins. One in Longmont and Laramie. One in Wisconsin.
4. I love New Belgium products. They cannot be found in Wisconsin.
5. I didn’t kiss that many girls growing up.
6. I can’t remember the name of my first kiss. I know it was sometime in Junior High.
   
7. California used to be my top choice for places I wanted to live.
8. I have puked only once from working out.
9. I am good at saying “No.”
10. Star Wars movies will always be my favorites.
11. I prefer the original trilogy to the prequels, but I still enjoy the prequels.
12. My favorite childhood toy was my trampoline.
13. It wasn’t until my junior year in high school that I went to school with someone as tall as me.
14. I constantly check myself for arrogance. I guess this means I have never wanted to carry with me an air of superiority for any reason, including my parents’ background, the size of my house, the cars we drive, the clothes I wear, the gadgets I have, the college I went to, the initials after my name, or the God I worship.
15. Although I constantly check myself for arrogance, that doesn’t mean I never am that way. I know I have been arrogant before, but I try to keep those moments at bay.
16. I know when I am not being cocky. When those moments coincide with other people being cocky my blood boils.
17. With respect to guns and the murder rate, I want the US to be more like Canada.
18. Even better, in that same respect, I want the US to be more like the UK.
19. I first thought I was going to be a computer science major in college.
20. I think we’ll move right back to Colorado next summer.
21. It is also too early to say.
22. My family won Family Feud. I wasn’t born yet.
23. As often as I could when growing up I sneaked glances at the pages of Victoria’s Secret catalogs.
24. I once swam 75 yards without breathing.
25. I pulled an unconscious swimmer off the bottom of a pool after he tried going for 100 yards.

Goodnight, Wisconsin

I presume Wisconsin sunrises are more dazzling than its sunsets, with the sun rising over that massive lake, but this one was still worth a picture from my deck. I think I'll get around to seeing a sunrise. They are just so damn early around here. Are they early where you live too?

Jesus Camp, the movie

I don’t really know what to say about this film. Like so many documentaries it is disturbing, but the why is usually different. So, why? Why did I find this particular film disturbing?

It is disturbing because Levi, a 13-year-old at best, committed his life to Christ at the age of five because his life, he says, was empty and he found no fun in any childhood games.

…Because one leader speaks of Harry Potter as if he is the devil incarnate. I almost agree, but not for religious reasons. This lady says that Harry Potter should die. She goes on to warn kids of witchcraft, as seen in the Potter films, and says it is the devil’s work.

…Because many kids are seen crying out desperately like their life has run aground and is empty. They are displaying a level of agony and pain that a kid just shouldn’t be experiencing. By what I can tell, many kids featured in the movie have been brainwashed into a faith, that adults tell them they “need”, without any level of self discovery involved.

…Because most of them are educated at home. Their parents teach them that science doesn’t prove anything, any level of evolution is a hoax, and that global warming is a scam.

…Because many of the Christians in the film equate following in Jesus’ footsteps to voting Republican. It is not about voting Republican or Democrat.

…Because I think I am more tolerant than the people featured in the movie, but then I catch myself being extremely critical of them.

…Because I don’t know how to approach a Christian like this because I don’t feel like they would respect the way I follow Jesus.

…Because my approach, I feel, would only further their cause and conviction that my Christianity is weak and insignificant because it is devoid of convulsing on the ground, declaring war on God’s enemies, and speaking in tongues.

…And, above all, because they are kids. They need to find the truth themselves.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday! A new blog was born today, authored by Jarrod Renaud. I don’t know what he is up to, but he has some good product. So, I would expect to see some cool things. No promises though. It’s all up to Jarrod to keep you coming back for more. Welcome.

http://isyournamegary.blogspot.com/

Obese States

The new Time got here on Friday and I was flipping threw it by the pool and saw a graphic called “Obesity in America”. I told you it was impossible to go a week without hearing something about the obesity problem in America.

The graphic shows state by state the percentage of the adult population that has a body mass index of 30 or higher, in more basic terms, adults who are obese.

The highest percentage belongs to Mississippi, at 30.6%. No surprise there. Alabama, Louisiana, and West Virginia aren’t far behind.

Some other standouts: Wisconsin at 24.8%, Texas (home to five of the ten most overweight cities in America) at 26.3%, Tennessee at 27.8%, Montana at 20.7%, and California at 22.7%.

At 17.6%, the lowest percentage by over two points, making me proud, is Colorado. Time says, “Outdoorsy Colorado is still the least overweight state.” That’s damn right.

Also noteworthy in the new Time is a report that American Gladiators will return to NBC. What a bad idea.

The 11th

September 11. It's almost here and the commemoration and remembrance of it is about to be all over the news once again. I remember last year's five-year anniversary very well. The reading of the names. The overuse of the American Flag. The patriotic news music that day that coaxed people to tears or to stand up and salute their flag on their TV.

When is remembering on such a level enough? This New York Times article addresses the touchy subject.

The article.

Pokes Win!

The game today between Virginia and Wyoming certainly didn't pan out like Virginia had hoped. Wyoming went on to win 23-3 in front of the fifth largest crowd ever in War Memorial history. I am sure it'll go down as one of the best season openers in UW history. I wish I could've been there.

College Football Begins

I was pleased to find the CU v. CSU game on FSN out here. Having busied myself with other things for most of the day it is awesome to sit down to the TV and see that CSU has come back from their 17-14 halftime deficit. They are up now 28-25. I am not a CU fan. I am always happy to see them lose to CSU. Watching it here, now, in Wisconsin, is a good taste of home, but it’s not nearly as good as watching from Invesco last year. The game has now gone into overtime and the Buffs won with a field goal. That’s alright, they need to get the victory every once in a while to justify their arrogance for another few years.

Usually there aren’t touching moments in college football. It’s almost always about winning, hitting people, and tearing down the goal posts, but today there was actually a touching moment in this testosterone soap opera. The pre-game honoring of the Virginia Tech students was the best way Blacksburg, VA and the VT community could honor the victims. Football is known to bring people together, but I am pretty sure it has never meant so much to Virginia Tech as it did today.

A trademark of the early college football season is the games that athletic departments schedule to meet their athletic budget. If they don’t schedule one for that reason, then they schedule one to feel good about themselves.

This is what happens.

Virginia is playing Wyoming today in Laramie. Virginia probably paid Wyoming a huge sum of money to play them. We are talking at times upwards of $2 million. The smaller school, in this case Wyoming, loves the money and playing a big time program will also draw a bigger crowd, hence today’s sellout. The big program, in this case Virginia, will pay a big amount of money to play a small program that they could possibly wipe out 45-0. It is a bit of a gamble, but usually it pays off pretty well for both teams. Wyoming may get abused today, but they’ll play hard in front of a big crowd. It’ll be fun. Virginia will win and get a nice kick start to their season. That is the idea. At times, the plan goes to crap for the big program and they lose. In this case it becomes a win-win situation for the smaller program. They get the money and the W. As I write this, Wyoming is up 13-3.

Also on TV today, some of the Track and Field World Championships. I love when the winner of an event wraps themselves in their country’s flag and does a victory lap. The crowds cheer and the victor is at the top of their game. You are happy for them, usually. I just had to feel a little bad for the winner of the pole vault today. I have nothing against the event. It looks impossible to me, but it doesn’t hold the attention of the crowd like the 100-meter or 200-meter sprints. So this dude was taking his victory lap and it just looked like no one was paying any attention to him, like they didn’t even know the pole vault just ended. Poor chap.

An Inconvenient Truth

I ended up liking the movie, but Al Gore’s voice and humor ran a little long for me. He thinks he is a comedian at times, but I didn't know if he would bust jokes during this movie besides the now infamous, “I am Al Gore. I used to be the next president of the United States.”

The jokes do continue, at least into the seventh minute. There are some jokes after that, they just aren't good.

I believe in global warming. It is tragic. There is no doubt about that. I appreciate what Al Gore is doing. His presentation is, surprisingly, somewhat entertaining and only at times all about Al.

His presentation on the increasing strength of hurricanes is essential, but his focus on Hurricane Katrina is a bit lopsided. The reason Katrina was so destructive, at least to New Orleans, was due to the Big Easy’s spectacularly crappy hurricane defenses. Katrina was not nearly as strong as Hurricane Dean. In August of 2005, when Katrina came ashore, New Orleans didn’t even have protection against a 100-year storm, protection which is now being built, but it won’t come close to Amsterdam’s protection against a 10,000-year-storm. True story. That’s impressive.

Gore’s bit of the slideshow when he talks about an ice shelf in Antarctica and ice in Greenland that if melted would raise the sea level by twenty feet is frightening.

An Inconvenient Truth isn’t the “sudden jolt” Gore talks about us needing before we commit whole heartedly to saving the environment. I wish it was, but it just doesn’t seem to be enough. Unfortunately, Hollywood has raised most of the country. We only seem to be awakened to action by catastrophes. The catastrophe of global warming doesn’t move fast enough to scare a huge portion of the population into action. It should. It hasn't yet, and that is what scares me the most.

Gore leaves it at this: there is hope. We have the capacity to reduce our carbon emissions; it is the political will of the United States that needs to change. He points out that when that will has changed in the past the United States has done some awesome things. He hopes that the change happens before it is too late. I can agree with that.

Watch the movie. Check the site. Turn your computer off at night. Do something.

www.climatecrisis.net

I Heart Libraries

Today is a documentary day. Kate is at work until 10:30. I am at home with An Inconvenient Truth, Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room, and Super Size Me.

Right now I am finally watching Super Size Me. Obesity was already under scrutiny before this movie, but this film must have put the fast food industry under even more pressure because it seems to be a lot of rehash to me. I think this is the case because I read most of The Omnivore’s Dilemma and because fast food, and its unhealthy side effects, has come under so much scrutiny that it is hard to go a week without seeing a report about said subject somewhere in the media.

I don’t know if he is going to make it all thirty days. It is day 21 and poor Mr. Spurlock is having heart pain and gaining layers of fat with each day. You can tell the poor bloke is seriously concerned about this experiment.

I knew it was coming. He is finally trying to contact McDonalds. This isn’t going to go well.

Wow. Day 27. He is going to make it. This is disgusting.

After 13 calls to McDonalds Mr. Spurlock is finally able to get a hold of a lady he was looking for. She isn’t helpful.

Day 30. He has made it to the last McSupper. He gained 24.5 pounds in this time.

After he was done it took him over a year, I think, to lose that weight.

The film was powerful, depressing, and it gives you a reason to detest regular consumption of McDonalds, if you didn’t have one already.

I want to know what Mr. Spurlock is doing now. He had some show about him doing something different for 30 days at a time. I haven’t seen a commercial for that show in well over a year. I don’t think that show was successful. This isn’t that surprising. Mr. Spurlock threw his whole life into this experiment. You can tell he is seriously concerned about the fast food industry and obesity. To expect the same effort and success in a television show covering, I assume, a wide range of subjects, is too much.

He looks at pictures

There are a lot of reasons he enjoys Facebook. First among them: pictures. He loves looking at pictures of friends, old and new. There is nothing like doing some fine quality stalking by taking a flip through someone's photo album. He can bypass all that silly conversation and awkward messaging and go straight to the good stuff, the visual update.

He gets visual updates a lot from college friends. However, this is where he often gets confused. There don’t seem to be that many people leaving his college town. This seems a bit sad, unless they are all going into med school. On the bright side, UW doesn’t have a med school, so that can’t be the case. What is the case? He doesn’t know. It might be a case of too many drinks at 3^rd Street, or too many Stones (as in thirty Keystone Lights, or 30 Stones).

All he knows for sure is that he saw some of these people for the first time his freshman year. He himself took five years to graduate and has been gone a year and a half. So, he wonders, what the hell is that dude still doing in Laramie? Look, he says, you don’t need to grow up, but you do need to move on.

Winning, it turns out, isn't the only thing

I don’t know what sparked the thought, but I was thinking today about those infamous lectures you get from coaches after a bad loss or something similar. Now, I know that coaches have to get stern every once in a while. I am fine with that. And, throughout my swimming career I developed a high level of tolerance for their bullshit. The first time I really saw the shit hit the fan was when I was a sophomore in high school. The coach, Scott, sat us down in an isolated corner of the pool deck so we were walled in by a couple of diving boards. We were just a bunch of wet high school boys that were 90% naked and out for a swim. We were looking for fun. Swimming, at this point in any one of our lives, should not have been treated as a job. Scott seemed to disagree. He blew up, telling us we should be ashamed of our performance and that he thought we were so much better than that. He wasn’t proud to be a Lambkin (yes, that was our mascot) that day and he told us we shouldn’t be either. The best part, this was after a win. We almost doubled the score of the team we swam against that day. We were unstoppable that year, easily winning every dual meet and going on to win conference. I wasn’t really sure what Scott was looking for. He never said. He just said that we sucked that day. I guess it was a performance because we didn’t 1-2-3 our opponents in every event.

Scott became a notorious yeller. I hated feeling his wrath from across the pool with a glare or from a foot away when he would be foaming at the mouth during his oral tirade against my swimming abilities. So, when I qualified for State that year at Conference and even got the Lambkins a few points in the meantime, one of the reasons I was ecstatic was that I wouldn’t have to face Scott’s wrath after I got out of the pool. Actually, he was jumping up and down on the side of the pool for me. He was so happy. And, I loved seeing him so happy, even if he was only happy because he only cared about winning.

My tolerance level wasn’t tested again until college, and then many times, but I want to focus on one lecture my college coach gave us after a meet against UCSB. We were back in Mission Viejo after a long ride and the coach let the girls off the bus. He told the guys to stay where we were. I prepped myself and took a deep breath thinking it might prepare me for the absurdity of his words. Usually it did, but not this time.

The rant he launched into was easily the most morale-breaking, disgraceful outburst I have ever heard from a coach. He was really pissed we didn’t swim best in-season times up in Santa Barbara. He was pissed we lost. Blah, blah, blah. It went on for quite a while and I could see the girls out of the corner of my eye standing in the doorways of their rooms, watching it all go down.

I know he said he was ashamed to have any gear on his body representative of the school. He was also ashamed to call us a men’s team. He called us all women. Oh God, I checked between the legs just to make sure. Phew. I know there was more, but at one point it got so ugly that I just couldn’t bare it anymore. I must have thought about something else for a while like sleep, but I know I eventually was contemplating ending my swimming career right then and there.

I don’t know what he exited the bus with. I looked up after a moment and he was gone. One of the captains stood up and preached in a roundabout way that the coach was justified in saying those things. I wasn’t buying it. I still don’t buy it. I couldn’t believe this teammate was saying that we were deserving of such horrible words.

Surely, nothing the coach just said made any of us want to keep on swimming, at least for him, right? Wrong. There were several that thought otherwise. I guess what I am saying, is that some of us justified the verbal abuse in the name of sport and winning and we honestly thought the coach was justified in ripping into us like that. How incredibly stupid and ignorant to follow a coach after that kind of eruption. That was the last straw for me. He would never again be a leader for me. It was an awakening of sorts. All I needed were my teammates. I would never let him lead the team for me from then on. I know that I wasn’t seen as a leader on the team because I didn’t respect the coach after that, but I didn’t care, I wanted the team to establish expectations of a coach, and that was something that those who justified his lecture didn’t have. Perhaps I saw them as beyond saving, but I was done showering any praise on a coach to win a recruit, to calm my teammates, or to paint a pretty picture of the coach-athlete dynamic at the university.

Opinions of the Day

Worst marriage advice actually given to me:

Keep separate checking accounts.

Worst interview question asked of me:

Why are manhole covers round?

St. Vrain Road

Sweet. I'm just testing out Blogger's new video upload feature. This video is from the summer of 2005, the summer we discovered St. Vrain Road, a nasty 40 mph ride. Erik and Kyle lead the way on their boards. Next is Wes and Collin. And, yes. The volume is up all the way. This was taken with an old digital camera that didn't record sound. Classic.

Delicious

One of the best segments I have ever seen on The Daily Show. A history lesson. Observe.

Shock Effect

A horrible crime has been committed in Merseyside, England. An 11-year-old boy was shot for no reason besides maybe a show of power by one of two local gangs. It is sad, really, but something stood out in this Guardian article. It was Gordon Brown’s description of the killing as a “heinous crime that shocked the whole of the country”.

It was one murder, and yet gang violence like this in America is rarely the focus of the entire country, and when it is, it never shocks the whole country. It happens every day because we love our guns.

Wouldn’t you want to be shocked?

And....action!

I was in a movie today. You might be confused; I was—most of the day. My acting career was launched by one line as an extra in a movie that is being shot here in town. Yep. It’s true. The director needed some people for a classroom shoot. I emailed the director. The director emailed back. Ah, the wonders of craigslist.

I have no acting experience whatsoever. The most, I guess you could say, was a drama class my freshman year of high school. I have always wanted to give it a try, which may stun most of you because acting, I think, goes against the grain of my entire being. I don’t consider myself to be loud, boisterous, or one that loves cracking jokes and breaking into monologues for the entertainment of anyone within earshot. I keep to myself mostly. I am shy in large groups. I don’t speak loudly. In fact, I mumble a lot and you would not want me addressing a graduating class. Ever.

Try I did today though, to act that is. I had one line. “Why do you want to know that?” I am sure I looked the fool, but I didn’t really care. I think this movie has bigger things to worry about than my line screwing up its popularity, success, impact, or whatever you want to call it. Honestly, I loved being there. It was fascinating to see the work that goes into filming a movie. I admit it, at times it was extremely boring. There are swaths of nothingness that the actors, and especially the extras, are subjected to, but I amused myself with constant observation and a running commentary in my head.

The commentary went something like this.

God it’s early. It’s 8 am. I’ve been here an hour and haven’t done anything.

When the actors look at me do they know I am sort of scared about this? Do they know I don’t know crap about acting?

Are we really filming in this classroom? This place is a dump.

Who are these people? Who makes movies in Milwaukee?

Why did that guy just laugh…? That wasn’t funny. Wow, do all actors have a bad sense of humor?

Stop talking to me, really. I don’t know you and you aren’t very good at telling stories. Shouldn’t you be better at that because you are sort of trying to do that for a living?

What? You have a career doing shoots for Kohl’s? Crazy. I didn’t think that was possible.

That’s a nice camera. Can I ask how much that costs? No. That would be rude.

Free soda, chips, coffee, and pizza. That’s nice since I’m not getting a dollar for this and spending nine bucks on parking.

Oh my gosh. The director just gave me a line. Do I have to speak? I bet he can see my pulse from across the room. I can feel it bloating my neck out with every beat. Please calm down before you have to talk.

It went on like that most of the day. I ended up being quite impressed by the abilities of the actors around me that were in lead roles. Having been there today I know I couldn’t have delivered those lines like they did. They sounded good, but they may look horrible onscreen. I don’t really know. The crew impressed me too. The cameraman had this idea about how every line should sound and whenever he spoke up about it he was always right. The way he said it just struck a “duh” through me. The director even has a role. He had a few lines today and made each take sound different but good.

I don’t know if my experience today was what I expected it to be. It seemed to fit in perfectly at times with my imagination, but at other times, not so much. I think it kept me interested enough to try something like this again. Maybe it is too early to say such things. Well, I just did.

Are you looking for something?

I am going to take a break now from writing and finish Bill Bryson’s I’m A Stranger Here Myself. Once again, Bryson hasn’t failed to make me laugh out loud several times. He makes the ordinary extraordinarily funny for me. He is a genius. I envy his abilities at times. After I finish it I am going to the library to pick up I Am Legend, a vampire tale that has been made into a movie with Will Smith.

Okay, I am reading now...

…Haggis. *Writing to self* Don’t forget this word. It is sheep intestine. You had a Braveheart Burger at some pub so old that Rob Roy used to drink there. The Braveheart Burger was like any other burger except the patty was made of Haggis.

A great quote. “To ensure that no one buys anything, they generally leave these sections unmanned. I believe there are whole floors at John Lewis of Oxford Street that have not seen a member of staff since just before the war.” Bryson on shopping for furniture in London. I realize this might not make any sense to you if you haven't been inside a John Lewis store, a Selfridges, or a Harrods, or, for that matter, been on Oxford Street. Sorry. I can't help you there.

“Where’s your primary shut-off then?”

“They forgot that, too.”

“You’re joking.”

“I wish I was.”

“Well, what would you do if you had a burst pipe?”

Now this I knew. First, I would hop around excitedly, going “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!” as you might if, say, you looked down and unexpectedly found your legs on fire. Then I would try to stuff something like a sofa cushion into the leak, making it worse. Then I would hop about some more. Finally, I would dash out into the street and flag down passing vehicles.

…The above passage is Bryson’s imagined conversation with a washer repairman. Bryson absolutely fears confronting the handy man who knows Bryson doesn’t know anything about the problem, whether it be cars, appliances, or a computer. I have that same fear when it comes to cars.

…In the last chapter Bryson addresses why they moved to America from England.

There is a great deal about America that is deeply appealing. There are all the obvious things that outsiders always remark on—the ease and convenience of life, the friendliness of the people, the astoundingly abundant portions, the intoxicating sense of space, the cheerfulness of nearly everyone who serves you, the notion that almost any desire or whim can be simply and instantly gratified.

My problem was that I had grown up with all this, so it didn’t fill me with quite the same sense of novelty and wonder. I failed to be enchanted, for instance, when people urged me to have a nice day.

He goes on, but the whole of the last chapter was a fabulous end to another good Bryson tale.

Tonight on TV

The Man. The Myth. The Legend. Well, whatever he is, Barack Obama is on The Daily Show tonight. Just a heads up for those of you out there that have cable television.

Dirty Dean

I was watching the news this morning and some CNN correspondent was riding out Hurricane Dean at a resort south of Cancun. In the background I saw waves and wind battering the exact place Kate and I honeymooned almost two months ago. The CNN guy was riding the storm out at our honeymoon location.

At first I was like, yeah, Aventura Spa Palace. Oh, wait. This isn't cool. We really enjoyed everything about that place and the people that work there and now it is all getting destroyed.

It was a bit surreal to see the landscape of the resort transformed into a raging sea. I have been trying to find footage of it on YouTube. No luck yet.

*I've been waiting for over two years to use this blog title.

He lives in Wisconsin

Standing in the Pick N Save parking lot a thought occurred to him. He lives in Wisconsin. He isn’t just visiting this place. This is where he makes his residence with his new wife who is rooting herself here with her new job.

As far as he can tell, his approach to Wisconsin has been similar to his approach to a new country. He may be here for a little bit, but he isn’t about to call it home. He’ll pick and choose through Wisconsin’s offerings and weigh later the benefits of a life lived here versus a life lived where he feels at home in Colorado.

There are a few benefits. He enjoys the new physical landscape of the earth. The air is different. The forests are thick. The water meanders more casually in this flat ground than the jagged surface of his home. He is told that people here are amiable for the most part, but his situation has led him to believe otherwise. His situation being: a general frustration with most things Wisconsin, which leads to a nitpicky, highly critical evaluation of most things Wisconsin.

I don’t know how much I can blame him. However, I am worried about him focusing too much on the negative and denying Milwaukee its right to be explored, folded, prodded, and experimented with. I also am worried about you reading this and saying out loud to yourself, “Oh damn, Bryce. Just get over it already” or “Not this again. Click.” I can’t blame you for that either, but a man’s got to vent, right? Even if it is to a keyboard.

Padilla

First read this over at The Daily Dish.

Then read this.

It is all incredibly disturbing. When I was writing about what I saw on the news yesterday, the Padilla verdict was read. To be honest, I had forgotten a lot about that trial and didn't feel I could write about it with any insight, not to mention humor. I knew I could count on Mr. Sullivan jogging my memory a bit.

Cable News Roundup

Right now Anne Coulter is on Fox News in a round table discussion of OJ’s book being published. I hope that Fox News is the only 24-hour news channel that still gives this woman air time. I say this because there isn’t anything that Coulter could do that Fox News would banish her for.

MSNBC is hitting the weather report strong right now. They are showing Houston right now being dumped on by tropical depression Erin. There are stranded cars, people wading through the water, and thick clouds. Nothing appears to be severe or life threatening, but we love disaster, don’t we? I mean, if there is anything that can bring us all together, it’s a disaster of some relation to the weather, the earth, terrorism, etc.

Whatever happened to Headline News? I remember it actually covering the news back in the day when they would loop the stories they have and then work in new ones as the news came to them. It was very straight forward, not that much bullshit for a cable news channel. Now I rarely find worthy news on the channel. Instead I can rely on Headline News now to give me updates on Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, K-Fed, Paris Hilton, and Nicole Richie. If it is not that, then it is Nancy Grace or Glenn Beck. Nancy is always running her mouth about another kidnapping or disappearances as if she is going to solve all the cases by talking them to death. Beck, well, I can’t watch his show. I get my Beck clips on The Daily Show.

Now all the cable news channels are paying close attention to Hurricane Dean. “This storm means business,” the CNN Weatherman says. The channels all want so desperately for a horrible hurricane season. They talked it up last year—the first hurricane season since Katrina—but the season sputtered out without even moderate damage to the Caribbean region. That was one of the media’s biggest embarrassments last year. Nothing has changed. This season is supposed to be intense, severe, and extremely taxing on all those living in the paths of hurricanes. I just hope it is so cable news can use all their cool storm-tracking tools, display neat storm graphics, compose new hurricane theme music, and get there word-sleuths on the job by coming up with something like “Hurricane Hysteria”, “Katrina Part Deux”, or “Disaster in Daytona.”

Running for office?

"You don't want to use the word "outsider" too much in your campaign, however. So feel free to have your team of seasoned campaign managers, political operatives, and speech writers use synonyms like "grassroots", "maverick", and "populace". Just make sure no one looks at your business cards and decides to use "Billionaire Financier". The important thing is you know nothing about Washington and don't have a clue how the system operates." - Jon Stewart, America

Memories of Summer

The days growing longer.

Hot afternoons of disc golf at the Loo. Losing discs. A toothless grin finding them.

Going on a run with Wes.

Trips to Chipotle.

Redbox rentals.

Knowing that the summer was going to come to an abrupt, unusual ending.

Work coming to a close at Starbucks.

Freshly cut grass.

Beautiful, dry, Colorado days.

Desire for change.

Resisting change.

Short reunions.

Long goodbyes.

And a long road ahead of us.

*A nod to mPb. I am not stealing a blog title, but as soon as I wrote memories of I thought of Warmy blog titles.

Seriously, Dick

Ah. Years ago the University of Wyoming was proud to be the alma mater of the Veep. I would be too, if Cheney didn't pull a 180.

Cribs - Milwaukee Edition

This is for all of you that might not be able to view this video on facebook because you don't have an account. So, Mom and Dad, I hope you enjoy. We took a longer, more in-depth look at the apartment in another video, but I have been having trouble uploading it.

Attacked Again

As the country watches and waits for news from Huntington, Utah, where six miners are believed trapped since Monday, the Middle East has erupted in cheers over the second successful terrorist attack in two weeks in the United States.

From the Anbar Province to the residence of Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, members of Just Into Hating All ‘Dem Independent Steamrollers of Truth from the States, or J.I.H.A.D.I.S.T.S, celebrated word of the collapsed mine by stomping on effigies of President Bush and chanting “Death to America” all while firing their Kalashnikovs into the air.

Shortly after the mine collapse Osama Bin Laden released a tape, apparently made months ago, in which he details the history of the making of the I-35W Bridge over the Mississippi River in 1967. Bin Laden’s first illegitimate son, Ahmed, born to Bin Laden when he was just three-years-old, is believed to have been smuggled into the United States in an opium crate early in 1967. At that time, Ahmed was just shy of his seventh birthday, but already had a devout hatred of the free world.

“Praise be to Ahmed!” Bin Laden says at the end of the video. “My son is the true mastermind of this glorious act.”

But just how did Ahmed bring the bridge down? Experts say that the reinforcing gussets of the I-35W Bridge were put under extraordinary pressure, but they should have held despite extra weight from ongoing construction on the bridge. This is where the mystery begins. No one knows for sure, but it is rumored that Ahmed, after making his way to the Midwest, was fishing by the Mississippi that fateful day in 1967. In his pack he only had a rationed amount of falafel (enough to enable completion of the mission), a vest laden with C4, and a few structurally deficient gussets. Sometime that day Ahmed was able to make the switch, putting his gussets in the real gusset pile, and being sure to put them at the top.

U.S. Intelligence reports have come up with nothing on Ahmed or his whereabouts. It is rumored in the Middle East that if Ahmed could have made it east, he was to use the C4 in another attack. Superstition among locals in Afghanistan is that he failed to make it to New York City, and that his C4 was found decades later by Timothy McVeigh in his hometown of Pendleton, NY, thus, sparking McVeigh’s interest in bomb-making. Not until the most recent Bin Laden tape had authorities begun to investigate the McVeigh-Al Qaeda connection.

Regardless of how the attacks were carried out, it has become clear to this nation’s citizens that the Heartland of America is now under attack. Al Qaeda has struck a popular destination for millions of Midwesterners and has now lashed out at the heart of the coal industry, thus making America rely even more on the oil in the hands of its enemies.

I like IMDB.com

The Goonies is an American classic. What do I think of when I hear The Goonies?

The truffle shuffle.

Sloth.

Chunk.

A bad ass Jeep killing some monster trucks in an ocean side race.

The Fratellis.

Rocky road ice cream.

A cool water slide that I have always wanted to go on.

And, One-Eyed Willy.

I found myself at IMDB.com today. I said hello. We chatted a little and I got to doing what I went there to do, that was looking up The Journey of Natty Gann. It’s an old Disney movie that I watched many times as a kid. I wanted to see if the girl who played Natty was still acting. She sure is. I could tell from the extensive list below “Filmography” she stays pretty busy. My curiosity was quenched, but I took a look around on the site bumping into old friends like Star Wars, Denzel Washington, and finally, The Goonies.

As I was scrolling down the cast list I clicked on John Matuszak. Mr. Matuszak played Sloth in The Goonies. Well, John used to play in the NFL. His makeup for The Goonies took five hours to put on. He died from heart failure due to extensive steroid use in 1989. He is now buried in Milwaukee. Rest in peace, Sloth.

Email Overload

I have a little project I need to get working on.

Kate has used her UW email address since I met her. All my emails have been going there ever since. She has deleted the worthless ones I think, but that still leaves 550 emails from me that I need to email to myself now or save on my computer so they don't get deleted. UW is going to shut her email address down in a month or a little more.

I better get started.

The Read

I don’t think anyone has noticed, but I took a link off the blogroll a few days back. I would love to keep you all on there. I would love for there to be more people on there.

However, to be on there you need to do some blogging. Most of you are much more generous than I am with your blogrolls. That's great. I know why that is…for the most part. But this is my blog, and if you haven’t blogged in over two months you will definitely get the ax. It makes sense though. Your blog can't be on "The Read" if it's not on your write.

Toodles.

Mulholland Drive....what?

Bryce watched Mulholland Drive last night. Well, he finished it at least. He watched the first twenty minutes while he was eating lunch yesterday. That is beside the point. The point being: what is the big deal about this movie? He knew it was going to be weird, but he still expected a good movie.

Later today he read its Wikipedia entry, a reliable source for such investigations. It turns out that Mulholland Drive came out to critical acclaim, didn’t perform well at the box office, and now has a cult following. Bryce leaned back in his chair. This is where all the movies end up that just are too weird for their own good.

The director did his job. He was creative; creative enough to win some awards for the movie, but creative enough to make Bryce just laugh when it was all over. Bryce is sorry. He isn’t going to be amazed by the cult classic just because it is that. It still has to be a good movie. There can’t be completely random crap thrown into the movie to make it cool. Ooh. Ah. That scene was so weird. Bryce isn’t going to buy that.

What is the glue of this movie? What, if anything, keeps it from falling into a jumbled mess of storyline with no possible connection? Well, Bryce would say, “Nothing holds it together. Well, maybe the soundtrack. From the opening credits the soundtrack is gripping. I thought the subwoofer was going to shake its way through the floor.” Honestly though, after reading the Wikipedia entry Bryce was astonished. He couldn’t explain the popularity. According to many, the director pulled the oldest trick in the book. The first two thirds of the movie was a dream. Isn’t that cute? What a copout.

Finally, the copout. The copout is a failure to fulfill a commitment or responsibility or to face a difficulty squarely. The real copout is by the fans, Bryce figured out. They like the movie because they can watch it and not be accused of having a girl-on-girl porno fetish.

Miscellany of His Mind

His wife is studying in the other room while listening to the Milwaukee country station.

He finished The Historian last night. He couldn’t set it down once he broke into the last one-hundred pages. The book ended nicely. Not everything fell together, but that is a little more realistic, he thought. Were the preceding 678 pages necessary to achieve the same feeling at the end? He doesn’t think so, but they were entertaining none the less.

He is still unemployed and doing what he can. He told me he is sick of talking about it with people. Just sick. He knows people want to know, but don’t ask him. That is my job. When he has something to report he will tell me and I will relay the information. Got it? Good. Until then let’s talk about books, movies, America’s Dairyland, and Colorado sunsets.

He has never had the library system of a big city at his fingertips. It exhilarates him. Sometimes I have to keep him on task because he searches for books on the online catalog. He found one today. He told me it wasn’t at the nearest library though. I told him to look again. Lo and behold, there is a way to select a book and have it shipped to the nearest library. We discovered that together. We reserved one copy of I Am Legend for pick up at the Oak Creek branch.

Before he reads I Am Legend he needs to finish I’m A Stranger Here Myself, by Bill Bryson. Bryson is one of his favorite authors. This book is a collection of short essays that Bryson wrote upon returning to the United States—his homeland—after a 20-year hiatus in England. Bryson’s sense of humor is so dry and cynical it makes Bryce burst out in laughter in front of anyone and no one. Bryce says it isn’t that long of a book, but he will finish it soon. It is certainly not like The Historian.

He is on a vampire kick. That’s what I Am Legend is about. It is being made into a movie. Will Smith is in it. You might have seen the preview, he says. Smith is left on Manhattan Island. He is the only human. Everyone else is undead. He thinks that Smith fights off the vampires. He doesn’t know. There is an itch to find out, and he will when Oak Creek gets the book in.

His new favorite place to rent movies is the library. They are free, and you get them for a week. He is going to go watch the rest of Mulholland Drive later.

His eyes get dried out by the ceiling fan above him. He ends up blinking a lot. I can tell he is getting annoyed by it. I think we should go now. He is waving goodbye to the computer. Goodbye.

The Wisconsin State Fair

The Wisconsin State Fair may be about a lot of things, but mainly it's about food. Lining every walkway of the fairgrounds are booths selling almost anything edible, that is, if you aren’t a vegan or vegetarian. This is meat eating country. And since Wisconsin is America’s Dairyland, you’d be hard pressed to find something lactose-free or with half the fat.

Actually, Wisconsin’s products don’t come fattening enough for fair-goers. Everything is deep-fried. The health nuts get the deep-fried pickle spears or eggplant. The more liberal mouths chomp on deep-fried mozzarella bits or cheese curds.

Everyone indulges in the most famous treat of the fair, the Crème Puff. The line for them is a good five minutes long. The Crème Puff starts as an ordinary, thin pastry. An assembly line of teenagers build the pastries non-stop for the hordes of fans who have come from every corner of the state and beyond for the main attraction. The pastry is cut in half and the bottom half receives a four inch high tower of whipped cream. The top half is lightly pressed onto the whipped cream. The final touch is a blizzard of powdered sugar. That’s it. Once you scarf your Wisconsin State Fair Crème Puff down you can safely go home. If you do one thing at the fair, you do that.

If you fancy the homegrown products the fair offers a Wisconsin Products tent. Everything under this roof is born, bred, raised, and slaughtered in Wisconsin. The tent has the fair staples, but it also features Wisconsin milk, meat, candied apples, grilled cheese sandwiches made with Real Wisconsin Cheese, and the sausages and bratwursts.

And what would a Wisconsin event be without a wide selection of beer. The only problem…they all have Miller somewhere in the name. Damn.

This one's for the Mick

We went to the Wisconsin State Fair today. There will be more about that later, but for now, I have a picture for a good friend of mine. I wish you were with us to get a pint of the Irish brew.

My Favorite Picture

Guardian Films

The Guardian's Sean Smith's videos of life in Iraq for our troops and their citizens won't be shown in the US all that much, if at all, so click on the links and watch them yourself. The videos are graphic, gut-wrenching, and saddening. They are what our news media can't report...honesty.

Part I

Part II

Today at Barnes and Noble

While strolling around the store I gravitated toward the bargain books. This aisle is always filled with huge photography books of world famous cities, landmarks, and countries.

I picked up a book on Scotland and flipped through its enormous, heavy pages. As familiar places flickered by, the corners of my mouth would twinge slightly in a pseudo-smile or I would let out a deep sigh of joy and reflection. As I set that book down, another one caught my eye. This one was on London. I’m a sucker. I picked it up.

Why do I love London so much? Beyond the museums, people, pubs, churches, and history, why am I still obsessed with the place? It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense sometimes. I was there for four months. I would rather visit London a second, third, and fourth time before visiting elsewhere first.

London makes me feel like someone. Longmont didn’t necessarily make me feel like a nobody. London put me on the map, not the map of popularity or success, but the map of independence. Perhaps London put me on the map of importance. I felt an incredible sense of pride and joy as I strolled along those streets hardened by hundreds of years of history. History happens in London, it always will. I knew this throughout my soul and mind by the time I had to leave. I was one of 7 million in a city that was one.

London is built up and has no room for expansion. Unlike in the U.S., where there is so much space planners see no need to put things next to each other, in London the planners have no room to build because the place is 1,000 years old. There is a true heart of the city, perhaps a heart more recognizable than the center of any city I have visited in the United States.

As I travel into that heart I am transported to the epicenter of the Western world and modern civilization. At its core London can enlighten the most un-expecting traveler. I wasn’t un-expecting. I knew the city would teach me, but how much? I had no idea.

And in the midst of London teaching me I became enchanted with its architecture, culture, people, beauty, and its transportation system. London has taken a piece of me and I have of it. I want more. Ideally, I want more by going back and living there. For now, I have to take the old-fashioned approach by following London in word, audio, and film, in order to live there because a part of me always will.

*This is not my photo. Don't use it.

You say that I'm a dreamer, I say you're a non-believer

LOS ANGELES(AP) After months of rumors, Nicole Richie confirmed Tuesday that she is pregnant. "Yes I am. We are," Richie told ABC News' Diane Sawyer for an interview to be aired this week. "I'm almost four months." Richie's boyfriend, Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden, is the father, she told ABC, which issued a news release about the interview.

"When I speak, it's like no one understands..." - "Screamer" - Joel - Good Charlotte

Not surprising, Joel. Not surprising.