It's 7:30am...

Time to wake up, Bryce.

The country you live in is now being invaded by highly skilled and intelligent illegal immigrants from India. You must proceed with caution.

A war with Iran isn’t too far fetched. Say hello to World War III.

Two tropical depressions in the Atlantic have formed. The coasts just aren't safe anymore. It is good you live inland.

And, wow. It's a good thing you don't have kids, Bryce. I mean, what would you buy them, toys? There are no safe toys in America. You must freak out.

Every earthquake now has the potential to create a tsunami that will wipe out hundreds of thousands of people, including you, if you decide to take a vacation to Southeast Asia.

Have a nice day now, you hear?