Wikipedia Enlightens

Wikipedia. Though it probably won’t ever be established as a legitimate source for a research paper, it certainly has its time-consuming traps. I visited Wikipedia today to look up the name of the island Napoleon had been banished to. I forgot, and Wikipedia provided: Saint Helena. I wanted to suggest that we banish Ann Coulter to the same island. After further review I decided this would be a bad idea. Whether you consider it an honor or not, she could likely be mentioned in the same breath as Napoleon. Napoleon will never be forgotten, and it would be best if Coulter was. Better to keep the two as far away as possible. An alternate location is now being researched.

Back to Wikipedia and its factoids. The Russian ex-KGB spy Alexander Litivinenko used to live in Muswell Hill. Maybe I saw him one day when I was in London. If you forgot, he was the Russian that was all over the news not too long ago because someone got mad at him and had him whacked with unconventional polonium-210 radiation poisoning.

What does Wikipedia say about Longmont? The city was 61st on the 2006 list of the top places to live in the United States. That isn’t too good; can there really be 59 levels of degradation between here and the 1st-ranked Fort Collins? The 2005 census reports 76,181 residents. The median income for the household in Longmont is $51,174. Per capita income was $23,409. Most interesting is the “Notable residents” section. Vance D. Brand, Kylie Ireland, Greg Biekert, and David Pauley are listed. Brand is no surprise, being a former astronaut. Biekert, born in Longmont, used to play in the NFL. Pauley, a Longmont High School graduate, pitched for the Boston Red Sox last year. Lastly, we have Ireland, who is listed as an “American pornographic actress” who specializes in lesbian scenes, and has starred in 264 films.

Our neighbor to the southwest has a much more respectable Wikipedia article. It has a section titled “Boulder in fiction”. Boulder was either referred to, or partially featured in The Stand (Stephen King), Mork and Mindy, South Park, Sleeper, and About Schmidt. And their notable residents list is substantially improved by the presence of Vader (Leon White), the WCW and WWF wrestler that awed fans of the “sport” with his Vader Bomb.

So why was Fort Collins ranked 1st? Wikipedia supports Fort Collins’ high placement with a list of breweries—New Belgium Brewing Company, Odell Brewing Company, and the Fort Collins Brewery—that call Fort Collins home. Clearly, this city deserves to be on top. It is also home to Colorado State University, a school of 25,000 students, whose football team bowled CU over this year, but were blanked by the Wyoming Cowboys in the Border War. Jon Heder, the title character in Napoleon Dynamite was born in Fort Collins, so was Jake Lloyd, who played little Anakin Skywalker in the much criticized first installment of the Star Wars prequels, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.

Although afraid to find out what Wikipedia had to say about Laramie, Wyoming, home of my alma-mater, I typed it in anyway. Wikipedia is a marvelous melting pot of useless information that is dangerously addicting. The online encyclopedia informed me about the “Laramie Cigarettes” brand from The Simpsons that is named after this town. Dan Marino has a vacation home in Laramie. The humble town “was ranked in the top ten places to live by Bizjournals, in the top 40 outdoor college towns by Outside Magazine, and third for the best places for outdoor activities by MSN.” Keep on, keeping on Laramie.