The Idol Has Me

American Idol is in its sixth season…I think. I don’t know really know for sure because I have never paid that much attention to the show. Until now…

Most of television is crap, but the first few nights of each season of American Idol are some of the best nights on television. Whether these people are there to make fools of themselves, or if they are in it to win it, I don’t care. I watched for the bad singers in the first few nights of this season, and marveled at the impossibly ignorant performers marching off the stage in tears, evoking a dark chuckle from me. The Bucks takes me away for quite a few nights a week, and even then I started to record the shows. Amazingly, I am doing something I never thought I would do: I am watching the entire American Idol season, or as I like to call it, “The Idol.”

Having paid no attention to the guts of the show before, I find it addicting and I watch with a number of questions in mind. Are these really good singers? What makes a contestant popular? How many people actually vote? Who votes on contestants besides pubescent girls? If put on a scale, would Ryan Seacrest weigh in over 100 pounds? What must it feel like when a contestant knows they are awful compared to the rest of the field? And, of course, who will get voted off this week? Who will win?

With sixteen contestants left, they are all better than me, and they have been since the first cuts. I can’t sing, but with the Idol, everyone becomes a critic. I have found my favorites, Melinda and Lakisha, and my least favorites, Antonella and Sanjaya. And then there are the floaters, like the bushy-haired, Simon dubbed Teletubby look-a-like, Chris Sligh, that could go either way when it comes to elimination day. Although, I hope he stays in for a long time. The guy is funny, he can sing, and he appears to be in an agreeable mood most of the time.

I was prepared for Simon Cowell to be this big old jerk that would tell nearly everyone on the show that they are crap and sub-par material. It turns out he isn’t a jerk; he just says what everyone else is thinking and won’t say. He picks his favorites very early on and doesn’t liberally dole out praise like Paula is apt to do. However, this doesn’t mean that Americans will keep Simon’s favorites on the show. If they [American Idol voting Americans] are smart and side with Simon, they will promptly vote off Antonella and Sanjaya tonight or I am going to move to Canada with Alec Baldwin.

Speaking of tonight's show, I need to set the recorder.