Tuesday, October 31, 2006

What TV did to me today

On FOX NEWS, Shepard Smith is admiring a pumpkin carved by a FOX NEWS admirer. The pumpkin reflects his name on the wall and reflects the channel’s logo in the opposite direction.

CNN addresses the EBONY magazine question: Does the Reverend Jesse Jackson still matter? By CNN’s conclusion, he certainly does. They keep on showing the Reverend chant, “Keep Hope Alive!” I don’t know what to make of the Reverend because I don’t know that much about him, but he strikes me sometimes as a sketchy fellow, like Joel Osteen.

Halloween means cinematic masterpieces like, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, grace the FX channel. Who could forget Brandy’s performance? Brandy lost the tight Oscar race for best supporting actress to Angelina Jolie for her performance in Girl, Interrupted.

Members of the Minuteman Project make an appearance on FOX NEWS. While some politicians and political analysts debate over immigration policy, FOX shows us gray-haired war veterans and their spouses looming at the border with binoculars. I don’t understand why they feel so threatened.

Yes, UPN has Jerry Springer’s Halloween Special. I have been watching the show for four minutes and I don’t know what is going on. There are two women and two men on stage. One woman is dressed in a revealing maid costume. The other dawns a sleazy nurse outfit; the kind that I thought could only be worn in a porno, except this is Jerry. One man is dressed in some Indian garb, and the other in street clothes. Street clothes guy proposes to nurse, who is most likely from the Valley, which is widely considered the porn capital of the US. Nurse says yes. Hung-over pastor comes from the back to perform the ceremony on stage.

Now I am watching MADE on MTV. A girl wants to become a soccer player. Things get really ugly when she asks what “being on offense” means. Enough.

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