You know, I started this post with a little background information, but then I just reread this post from March 2011 when I got into grad school:
A writer’s ego is a very fragile thing. Sharing about the rejections over and over again, I felt like I was announcing through a large megaphone from the top of the world, “My writing sucks and no one likes it.” It’s hard to describe how that shattered my motivation and made me dislike—even hate—things completely unrelated to my attempt at getting into grad school.
I decided to stop with the background information after reading that. It is a painful story still and more painful that I occasionally dream about what it would have been like last week to walk across a stage and receive my MFA. But I did not. I received my MA in International Studies and spent the majority of my time at DU studying international security, the Middle East, and political theory. Apparently, I did pretty well at that. Grad school taught me a lot of things. A resounding lesson, for me, is that I can excel at something that is not my first, second, or even third passion. I can excel at something that I never thought I would excel at.
There is not much I have to say here. I loved my time at DU. I don’t want to appear ungrateful, but it just wasn’t an MFA program in writing. I kept telling myself over the last two years that I was at DU for a reason and that things will pan out, that this will all be worth it. That has yet to happen, so I’m still praying that it does.