Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Birthday Cards
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Please run, Don.
I really, really want Donald Trump to run for president. I can’t think of a more entertaining candidacy, or a more embarrassing one for America. Things can’t get more embarrassing than Sarah Palin being a Vice Presidential nominee. A Trump candidacy would just maintain the norm of having an ignorant moron run for at least half of the Republican ticket.
Could you imagine Trump in a debate? Laughable, it would be if he were debating other Republicans. And if he were debating Obama? Well, it would be like Obama in a Battle Royal against 40 Trumps. One at a time or all at once, Obama would walk all over him. Proverbial powerbomb here, choke slam there, and then a clothesline. And the wrestling metaphor is not that far off, Trump has a close relationship with WWE Chairman Vince McMahon. Trump has his own theme song and participated in a hair vs. hair match, after which he got to shave McMahon’s hair. I’m not making this up and neither is Wikipedia.
Not to be overlooked by fiscally conservative Republicans, is Trump’s rollercoaster ride of financial problems and resurgences. According to Wikipedia, we are currently in a Trump resurgence, but their have been low points, like Trump’s personal debt of $900 million and business debt of $3.5 billion in the early 1990s. But it seems Trump takes offense at anyone low-balling his net worth. Author Timothy O’Brien estimated that worth to be at most $250 million. This pissed Trump off, who sued O’Brien for libel because, according to Trump, he is worth much, much more, like $5.75 billion more. The case was dismissed, but I am sure Trump would argue that the taxpayer’s money spent on handling this very important case was a very good investment for the American people.
Most of Trump’s recent TV appearances have included discussion about his own investigative team looking into the legitimacy of Obama’s U.S. citizenship. That’s right, the leading candidate in some pre-preliminary polling of Republicans is a birther. This is the defining characteristic of Trump’s flirting with presidential candidacy. This will be the defining characteristic of a Trump candidacy. That is, it will be if we can momentarily avert our gaze of wonderment at his hair and pay attention to the drivel coming out of this dumb, dumb man’s mouth.
Friday, April 08, 2011
Lessons Learned at the Denver Auto Show
Despite all the press and the ads mentioning global warming and the importance of decreasing our carbon footprint and our reliance on foreign oil, most cars still have very poor gas mileage. It is not just the SUVs that fail miserably in this category. I walked the entire floor of the Colorado Convention Center. I saw many cars. As I arrived at Subaru’s section of the floor I thought, now here is a make of car that will have good mileage. Nope. Not even the Outback had any impressive numbers. Our Highlander’s gas mileage is technically 17/24. Although we get a little better than that, it isn’t great gas mileage, but after walking the floor at the auto show, I feel much better about what we get in that car. You mean I could be driving a granola-lover’s Outback, be sacrificing legroom, style, speed, and other space and get one more mile per gallon than a Highlander? No thanks. (And I do apologize to anyone who drives a Subaru. I am sure you love your car and that you get better gas mileage than the Subaru I saw. The thing to keep in mind when you are at the auto show is that every car is fully loaded and typically has the most powerful engine they put in the car. But still, I was expecting much better from Subaru and everyone else.)
Hyundai’s display wasn’t good enough to even get me to step on their section of the carpet. *This lesson wasn’t really learned at the auto show, just reinforced.
Since childhood I have eyed BMW’s 7 Series, thinking, now there’s a sedan I can fit in. The only problem being, it’s a BMW 7 Series and way, way out of my price range. Now there are two problems. One, the price as I’ve already mentioned. Two, I don’t fit in the 750. As is, the $107,000 BMW I sat in does not have enough room for me. The backseat has tons of room, air-conditioning that shoots up into your butt, and heated seats, but who wants to be in the back seat of a 750? Not me.
I do fit in a BMW X5. Again, the price is an issue, but I had to try. I’ve always been curious about the X5’s legroom. That said, when I was sitting in the driver’s seat, there was approximately one inch between the back of the driver’s seat and the end of the second seat. The car turns into a four-seater when I am driving.
Driving an expensive car means you’ve made it, you’re happy, satisfied, and successful. At least that’s what a lot of people think after talking with a few car-crazy nutters on the showroom floor last week. It really made me just want to walk out of the convention center.
People spend beyond their means. Not really breaking news, but the number of people interested in BMW, Audi, Mercedes, and the like, drastically outnumbers those who can actually take on that financial burden. But, note the last point. People have drunk the Kool-Aid.
The most surprising lesson: I fit in a Mini Cooper. No lie. I could actually drive one if I needed to. I fit better in this car than in some SUVs and most sedans. Love this.