Tapping In

Writing to me now is a source of energy, a performance-enhancing drug. When I am swimming and I am in a tight race and I need some energy all I need to do is to think about writing, how it hasn’t done anything for me, how people think I am no good, I think of all of the schools standing on the other side of a doorway flipping me off and then the door shuts, and I pull from those darkest depths of disappointment and depression the reserves of energy and aggression that cannot be matched, that make me surge forward in the pool, or throw myself into the last turn on the track, or jump that extra three inches to block that guy’s shot. Writing is a drug right now that helps with anything but writing at the moment. I am indestructible when I think of it. I am the Hulk. I am Michael Phelps. I am Jordan. I am Usain Bolt. I am that blast of frigid air that spits snow in your face. I am a Category 5 storm. I am Arnold. Come with me if you want to live.