Thursday, June 23, 2005

The Dark Ages

I got home tonight and wanted to put an old journal entry up on the blog. My first journal starts in 1998. I flipped through that journal which brings me to 2001. I couldn't narrow the choices of entries down to one. Frankly, I am pretty embarrassed about what I wrote on many occasions.

The Dark Ages arrived with my journey into high school. My journalistic endeavors started at girls and ended at girls. I would give a shallow description of who I thought was going to be my next girlfriend. There are a few girls listed, but I would only classify two of them as girlfriends in high school. There was one that I just kept going back to, it was pathetic. And through my frustrations with that girl, I found the next one in which I was venting to the whole time.

The point of this blog is to not expand on my rough spot with the ladies, but to say that I knew I had to go through all that. The ugly streak followed me into college until my second year. Many questions and answers later, I came out from under the cloud and realized that I shouldn't concern myself with finding the right woman. For a long time I thought it was my job to pursue that dream. It took years for me to realize that God doesn't want it that way. He showed me the love of my life when He thought I was ready. And for a while I thought that "ready" was a state of enlightenment in which I could stay in for the rest of my life -- not having to further my faith.
Indeed, God blessing me with Kate has been a testament to the faith I have in Him, but it will certainly not be the last blessing and it won't be the grand testament of my faith. I aim for that to be an eternal party with Jesus. Holla!

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